sTyLeGuY's R.A.N.D.O.M Thoughts

(The readers are advised to also go through the previous 2 posts in this series, to get the best of the latent humor. This post should also make a good, comprehensible read though.)

I had finished all my work in Mumbai, and was enjoying the weekend with S. Went to Juhu Beach, Gateway of India and saw the Elephanta Caves. Also managed to see an eyeful of the BIG B, in person, at his residence. At the end of day, S had to go to Dadar, and I had to come back to A’s flat in Malad.

S : Hope you enjoyed the day.
Me : You bet I did.
S : So, do you like Mumbai ?
Me : Yeah, I seem to like the most of Mumbai. The weather, too, is bearable. But I’m still trying to come to terms with traveling in the Mumbai local trains.
S : Well, local trains are Mumbai’s lifeline, and you just can’t do without them.
Me : Indeed, but tell me, do you travel in local trains often ?
S : Yes, I use local trains to go to office & come back.
Me : Daily ?? Isn’t it difficult to go through the torture, daily.
S : (mockingly) Well, we ladies have a separate compartment for us in the local trains, and you know what, we are much more civilized, than you guys.
Me : (bamboozled) Yeah, whatever. But isn’t it troublesome to buy tickets daily, standing in those lonnnnnng queues ??
S : Dear, there is something by the name of a `Monthly Pass’, which saves the daily travelers the trouble of buying a ticket.
Me : OK. But, be it a Ticket or a Pass, I’ve never ever seen a TC actually checking for them. And anyways, its so crowded out here, that it is just not possible to check for tickets/passes from every passenger, in every local train, on every station, on every day, `at all times’. (me feeling proud for having given a good argument) :-)
S : Yeah, you’re right. But they do have random checks. And if you understand `RANDOM’, you should understand that any without-ticket wallah suffers the risk of getting caught, `at all times’.
Me : `Random’ ..…huh !
S : Anyways, I’m getting late. My hostel warden doesn’t allow entry after 9. I’d better leave.
Me : OK. Tell me, Where do I get a train to Malad ?
S : You’ll have to go to platform 5 for Malad train. And the ticket counter is at the end of this platform. “Get the ticket, and then go.”
Me : OK. I’ll get the ticket. Bye.
S : Bye. (looking somewhat suspicious, leaves)

(I go straight to platform 5, and wait for the right train. The train arrives, I board the train.20 minutes later, I reach Malad station. I get down, and look for the way out of the station.)

A calls on my cellphone : Where are you ? When are you coming ?
Me : I’ve reached Malad station. Will be there in another 10 minutes.
A: OK. Come soon. Dinner’s ready.
Me : Ya, coming…. Bye.

(I’m looking around for my way out, and just then, I saw the EXIT gate. I proceed in that direction. Am about to reach the EXIT gate; bump into a gal who seemed to be in hell of a hurry; my cellphone falls down from my hand. She sped past me, no sorry-vorry. I bend down to pick my cellphone up; I pick it up; I stand upright and find a gentleman wearing a black coat & a badge staring at my face.)

“Chalo, Ticket dikhaaoo”.

No doubt they are called the lifeline of Mumbai. I would say, they are also the timeline of Mumbai office-goers, students & businessmen. There are soooo manyyyy of them, and they travel thousands of kilometres every day. They work almost 20 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. They are fast, frequent, punctual & extremely economical. They have reservations for women (albeit not 33%), for Senior citizens, for milkmen & fish-sellers, and indeed they have a first class.

If you still haven’t guessed, the description & the adjectives are all for the Mumbai Local Trains. For someone who is a Mumbai localite, or has stayed there for some time, it might seem pretty normal & taken-for-granted. But for a newbie like me, traveling in a local train in Mumbai is an altogether different, sometimes complicated & definitely unforgettable experience. The journey, the rush, the train routes, the split second timings & the ultimate result (convenience & time-saving), all of these are simply unbelievable.

I had to go to Mumbai on many occasions in the last 2 months, and I had some very interesting experiences while traveling in Mumbai Local Trains. Some of them are narrated below :

Characters

Me – Me
A & S – My friends who are Mumbai localites
& a surprise entry in the end….

Incident 1 :

One of my first journeys in the local trains.

I got into one already overfull compartment. (All other compartments were ALSO overfull, so didn’t actually have a choice.)

The moment I get hold of the pillar & place a foot on the train, it starts.

30 seconds later : I’m still trying to get my second foot (which is still hanging in air) on a firm base.

45 seconds later : Both my feet are ON the train floor, but I’ve lost hold of the pillar !(which is the very end of the compartment, and I suffer the risk of falling down ).

60 seconds later : The train has caught speed (felt like 60 kph +), and I’ve managed to get hold of a latch, overhead (ya.. with both my feet on terra firma, now..)

90 seconds later : A fellow passenger asks me my destination & I say “Churchgate”. He frowns, and says – “Abe, to yahaan kyo khadaa hai, ander jaa na.” I religiously obey him, and start trying to find a way inside.

2 minutes later : I’m still struggling to get inside, but have made a considerable breakthrough. Am almost halfway !

2.5 minutes later : A station is arriving in 30 seconds and some people are rushing towards the gate (from where I entered). And I … alas ….am in their way.

3 minutes later : The station has come. Some 8-10 people get down. Another 20 hop in. (No matter how many are already stuffed inside a compartment, there’s always space for innumerable people, somehow !). I have been ruthlessly pushed aside, inside, forward and backward & have completely lost control over the movement of my own body ! But, as a result, I have reached the other end of the compartment, & near the second gate from where I have to get down in another 2 minutes or so. Exactly where I am supposed to be !!

Such meticulous passengers & acute logistics management, to be found only & exclusively @ Mumbai Local Trains.…

To be continued……